Category Vanity

Look at you,
So pretty and popular,
All the guys are reaching
for their binoculars.

Have a good look,
the beauty won’t last,
It will be just like our friendship -
a thing of the past.

Your head is empty -
you like it that way -
You’ve become so boring
with nothing to say.

You’re just a face,
a body, no soul,
That’s why you were a bitch,
why you acted so cold.

I’ve always had natural bags under my eyes, and it’s always made me self-conscious.  It’s rare that I’ll leave the house without putting on at least something to try and combat it, and I’ve spent a fortune on products to try and get rid of them, but they’re genetic, so short of plastic surgery – which is a no – they’re not going anywhere, so I’ve come as close to accepting them as I possibly can.

Today, as I was attempting to cover them up before going into town, I found that no amount of make-up would.  I leaned into the mirror, and as I was putting more and more foundation underneath my eyes, I noticed that it wasn’t blending properly and I had blending marks on my face.  I began to smother the whole of my face with foundation, something I’ve only ever done a handful of times...

For those of us in the UK (and a few other places), Sunday was Mother’s Day.  We have a family tradition of going out for a meal, and that’s exactly what we did.  It was a little bit sunny, and I was wearing a pretty dress, so I decided to wear my new hat, too.  It’s a black sun hat, much like the one Samantha wears in the Sex and the City film, but not quite as big, and not made out of straw.  Almost every person I walked past seemed to stare, purely because I was wearing a hat.  Either that, or they were staring at my legs, but, given that they were looking up, I’m pretty sure it was the hat.  People seemed to be fascinated by my hat, despite the fact that it was just. A. Hat.

Where we went wasn’t anywhere particularly fancy or over the top (it was a garden centre), nor was it a b...

Feminism.  The minute you tell someone that you’re a feminist, they expect you to enjoy burning bras and not wear one because they were invented by men in order to sexualise women further.  Actually, they weren’t.  Much like the thong was invented to obliterate VPLs, bras were invented to offer less constraining support for the breasts compared to corsets.  It was invented by feminists.

What people forget in the twenty first century is that feminism didn’t start out being about women being better than me, it started out being about equality.  The suffragettes didn’t think that they were any better than the men that they were fighting, they just wanted what they deserved, which was to be given the same rights as any man.

People think that the issue of sexism no longer exists, but it ...

By the time you read this, all of these thoughts will be out of my head as I’m writing this in the middle of the night with no internet connection and won’t be posting it until tomorrow evening, but I’m writing it now because I’m in an I-have-something-thought-provocking-to-say-and-if-I-don’t-get-it-down-now-I’m-going-to-forget-it mood. So, here goes.

Said train of thought began whilst lying in bed listening to TLC’s song, “Unpretty”.

And it got me thinking...